I have five children that are not mine! I have them on occasion. Not all the time.
Definitely not all of the time!
I have had them differently and they have become mine over a period of almost 14 years. The oldest is almost fourteen and the youngest is about to be one.
How do I love them? Deeply! Like only a mother can.
I love them passionately and with deep longing because they are all the children that I have.
I take them from their parents from time to time. My kind of mothering is great.
You see, my five children are not always mine and they are not only mine. They are not even “really” mine. But they are all of the children that I have and my love for them, I dare say is the greatest love in the world.
I have always been there for them. Holding them, Loving and caring for them since the moment when they entered this world.
Because I have always known that but for some technical reasons they were mine in a different way:
They were mine not from the womb but, and most importantly, from the heart and from the soul.
So I decided that they would be mine long before they were even born and stuck to that decision long after their births.
We have our own kind of relationship. A relationship apart from their parents and from the world.
My relationship with each one of them is uniquely special.
So when someone asked me the other day:
– So, do you have children of your own?
I wanted to say:
And the person sensed that that was going to be my answer, so the person asked:
I mean do you have your own biological children?
But what I really wanted to have answered was:
What I felt was:
Because if we are going to be biological about it, even though most people don’t like to admit. Not everybody loves or wants their biological offspring.
My babies and I, we have our own understanding. We have a relationship that is all our own. Where parents are not allowed in. We care for each other, we understand each other and we know that our relationship is special perhaps because there is a distance. Because there are those pauses. Those – in between- moments. Because there are “other” parents, other houses, other aunts and uncles in the mix.
I have five children and whenever I think about them I do not feel wanting for anything. I do not wish that they were mine biologically and I do not see our relationship, the love and affection that I have for them and them for me as a pass time thing. As something in the meantime while I wait to have “my own” children.
I love them as they are. I love loving them and being loved back by them. I love them without conditions or impositions. I do not love them as substitutes for something. I love our love for what it is: Love. Pure and simple.
Some of my children are jealous, some are possessive, some are stubborn, and some have moments when I am not their favorite person in the world. But that does not worry me because I know that they have their parents, nannies, grandparents, uncles and unties to go to and to love and care for them.
A child is a child. You love them however they are and you know that the love you have for each one of them and for each other is different and unique. But you also know that most importantly, love is love. I have five children that are not mine and I love them with all my heart.